


The Words

by chasingorbits



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergent - 15x20 Doesn't Exist, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28324545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingorbits/pseuds/chasingorbits
Summary: The one where Dean is a fumbling idiot and painfully aware of it.(Dean says "I love you" to Cas for the first time, and it goes nothing like he imagined it.)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 167





	The Words

The words don't come out the way he expected them to. At _all._

It's not like they weren't implied. They were inextricably there, branded in each look, touch, lopsided smile and conversation they've had since Cas got back. Hell, it ain't like they haven't done all kinds of couple-y shit by now. They've shared everything from beds to clothes to shampoo to aftershaves, stolen food off each other's plates and fleeting kisses after that, had their heads in each other's laps through Scooby-Doo marathons, fingers absently rubbing each other's scalps. Dean's hands have been places no "friend" would get unfettered access to - tangled in Cas's hair, dug into the flesh of his thighs, curved around the swell of his ass, tightly wrapped around his—

Fuck. 

So yeah, that Dean is _violently_ in love with Cas is an understatement. Obvious to anyone with a working set of eyes. He just hadn't gotten around to _saying_ it yet. 

Although he'd never admit it given the risk of sounding like a full-blown cornball, he wanted to make it special. Maybe drive Cas out to the countryside, set up a picnic under the stars, light some candles. But that's all shot to hell now, because there apparently is nothing Dean Winchester can't royally screw up.

It was _stupid_. He didn't even think about it. The words just came tumbling out of his mouth like he'd been casually saying them for years, like it didn't change a thing, like it was a long-settled fact of the universe, nothing new or earth-shattering about it. And hey, maybe that was true. It sure _felt_ true. Still, that's no excuse for being so nonchalant about it, especially since this was Cas's first time hearing the words from him. Shit—maybe his first time hearing the words _ever._

That's what Dean gets for trying to keep up with Sam and Eileen's drinking. He can no longer hold his liquor like he did in his thirties, and it's taking him a while to accept that. So obviously he'd wake up majorly hungover and have no control of his tongue until at least 24 ounces of caffeine were running through his bloodstream. Which is exactly what Cas, being Cas, provided him with the moment he stepped down into the kitchen.

There he was. Hair messy, face soft and eyes bluer than Dean could fucking handle, holding out a mug of freshly brewed coffee - the fancy brand he knew Dean secretly loved. 

Grinning through the ache in his joints, he said in a sleep-rough voice, "God, I love you so much."

Something instantly shifted. The air surrounding them felt thick. Cas took a small step back as if the words had physically struck him. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean could see Sam snicker into his own mug, Eileen softly elbowing his ribs.

And because there's nothing Dean can't make worse, "I didn't mean to—" he floundered, awkwardly shifting his weight. "I didn't mean to say it." A dark, hurt look passed across Cas's face. Dean's heart sunk, brain scrambling to amend the misunderstanding, "No! _Jesus_ , I—" He put the mug down on the counter, reaching to place his hands gently at Cas's sides. "I meant the words, I just didn't want it to come out like _that_."

"Dude, you're rambling," Sam chimed in.

"Shut up," he barked, levelling his eyes with Cas's, desperately hoping he'd understand. "Cas..."

Castiel took a step forward, a hand coming up to frame his jaw. "It's okay. I don't care how you say it." 

Dean's whole body relaxed at that, a breath he didn't know he was holding leaving his lungs. His lips curled into a sheepish smile, and he leaned in to rest their foreheads together. 

"And we're gone," Sam said, cheeky amusement coloring his voice. Dean heard both his and Eileen's chairs scrape against the floor as they left to give them some privacy.

So maybe his first time saying the words wasn't all that epic. Certainly nothing compared to Castiel's sacrifice-laced one. But hey, he's got all the time in the world to try again. And again, and again, and—

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated 🥺


End file.
